Sunday, May 31, 2009

You Forgot About Me...

You forgot your favorite shirt at my house

In such a rush you left it when it goin’ out

I know you didn’t mean the things you said

I know we can work it out in my lonely bed

The smell of your cologne still lingers in my room

If you were leaving, I suggest you’d take that too

Cause I can’t forget you, if I still can feel your scent

I can’t just let you go, boy, you forgot this…

You forgot about me



A snippet of a song I just wrote! Excited about it, I want to record this!

I have sooo much music I want to record, and shop out to artists, but  I have no idea where to start... 

I guess that's what the internet is such a wonderful thing, no?

 

GOALS: Hear a song I wrote on the RADIO, Have a song of mine on the TOP 100, TOP 200, TOP 500, Have a song I write get me a check!!! 


Thursday, May 21, 2009

i like a long haired thick red bone...

I love Black people, I really do. I embrace this race because it's my family. We go through bull TOGETHER, and we are working on overcoming TOGETHER. But this crazy kin can piss me off, because many of our Black people suffer self-hate. And though, its not all, its a vast majority that is spreading across our community and even infecting our Black children, like the Swine Flu. 

Maybe because I've struggled with self-hate for many years, it hurts me more than the average. My self-hate was stemmed from many things: I'm always the darkest in any crowd, no matter where, and until recently, I thought dark skin was the ugliest thing on Earth. Can you believe it? I hated my skin and I honestly thought God was punishing me by making me such a deep brown color. My self-hate stemmed from not understanding how to take care of my curly halo of kinks, so I hated my hair, and thought God was punishing me by not giving me "good hair." 'If I was lighter.... and if I had good hair, I'd love myself then' I told myself, but I'd only love myself because I wouldn't be myself. 

I really hated myself.

And as a people, I think we really hate ourselves. Striving to look like video hoochies-- I'm sorry "MODELS", packing on pounds of makeup, colored contacts and weaves to look like something we're not. 

Truthfully, I don't think there are anything wrong with extensions, admitedly, they can be fun, cute, and easy, but when we're inching closer and closer to a more Eurocentric beauty, and hating our OWN beauty, I feel we have a problem. We have a problem when we put unnatural blond tracks in our hair, and claiming on youtube: "Don't insult me, I'm not Black"; this screams that we collectively have some work to do on what we perceived as beautiful. Now, I'm not telling everyone to stop getting relaxers, no, but I do want to ask my fellow beautiful black women to not think of your "new growth" as an accident that needs to be fixed. Its beautiful, and though you might not transistion to natural, love the BEAUTIFUL curly, full, wavy, textured "new growth" that grows from you naturally. 
And though, I'm not throwing salt on any lighter women, because my family color wheel features beauties the color of Kim Kardashian, to Beyonce's caramel, Gabrielle Union's golden brown, India's mahogany, to Alek's dark and amazing skin. But I want my men to LOVE all of your black women, no matter what her color is. 

But it may be to much to ask, because when I hear someone say, "Your hair looks good on you, but I could never rock it," I silently plead 'why'? Why can't you wear your naturally beautiful hair, God gave it specifically to you so you could rock it, and look stunning. But I go unheard. 
And when I hear "I like a long haired thick red bone" in a song, I silently plead 'why'? Why can't you like a sexy browned skinned diva, and her light skinned friend too? But that doesn't match the context of the song... or maybe the context of the world we live in. 


I'll write a Part 2 soon... 

Sunday, March 15, 2009

I Wish I Was Perfect...

Listening To: Teedra Moses's Mixtape 'Lionhearted'

Being human sucks. When you're human, you're cursed. You are cursed to grow, you are cursed to see, and worst of all you're cursed to make and learn from mistakes. And who wants to learn? Who wants to be told that no matter what you already know, there is still something you won't. No matter how many questions you know the answer to, there is two more questions you don't know the answer to.

If it was up to me silly blunders that make you the person you are wouldn't exist... what's the point?

Luckily, it's not up to me. We are human. I am human, made of flesh. If cut, I bleed the color of crimson and pain. I am human. And we need mistakes. Need. Mistakes do not hinder success. Those silly blunders make you stronger, they make you into the person you are if you learn from them. Those silly It makes the trip to success that much more worthwhile.
So while I make this mistakes, most of them I wish I never, ever make again, and all of them, wishing I never made them in the first place - I will learn from them. And patiently wait for this success, that is waiting for me...




... hopefully it's there in my future.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Twitter Dee, Twitter Dum

If you don't have a TWITTER, you should go get one! Its fun to check up on friends and some of your fave artists/people!

The coolest ppl I follow are SOLANGE, Qtip, JANELLE MONAE, QUESTLOVE, OBAMA, and so many more. Go twitter!

Go make you one, just cause everyone else is: twitter.com
and to follow me: twitter.com/herretrolove
Lemme know if you have one!

^_^ Sweet Daydreams,

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Hunger...

I think I am PERMANENTLY hungry. I have permanent hunger pangs .. and I think its college's fault... =/ 

But I'm trying to eat a BIT more healthy, because these past few weeks, I've been killing the fried foods .. so I really needa buckle down.

The only thing is, I'm sick of ALL campus food, unless its chicken strips and fries, or Chick Fil A.. 

I want NOTHING else =/


But I'm working on it... I had a veggie pizza and a salad for lunch .. and I'll eat a veggie burger tonight .. I can't gain any weight lol...

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Single Awareness Day



A little Valentine's Day Laugh!


Happy Single Awareness Day, for those who weren't aware they were single until .. today. 
Happy Valentine's Day for those who are loving, in love, crushing, in like. 

May it be special for us all..


I'm doin a spa day today... but first, I gotta watch Love Jones. My FAVORITE romance film... One of my favorite movies ever. A must watch...

"Let me tell you somethin'. This here, right now, at this very moment, is all that matters to me. I love you. That's urgent like a motherfucker. "

Check it.


"But right now I'm the sight-raped hunter, blindly pursuing you as my prey..."
I have a huge crush on Larenz Tate, lol. 

Anyway, stay safe, stay blessed, and even if you don't have a significant other, shower the most important person on earth with Love on this day. Yourself.

Now, can't forget its Black History Month... Black Love... 




Mmmmm, isn't it beautiful?

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Music Playing...

The music playing is SunStar by singer Jesse Boykins III. 

Nice right? 
I've been keepin' him to myself, but seriously, his music is too good to be selfish with. His music seriously cheers me up... anytime.

Check out his Myspace here

I think my Valentines gift to myself this year will be just having an extreme chill day, just listening to him while doin my nails, hair, facials, yadiyadi. Good thing all of my roommates have boyfriends, so they should be gone all day. Finally! 

Anyway, check out more of his stuff. If you like smooth, mellow, "neo-soul", you should try him out. 
Check out more at YOUTUBE IMEEM
Purchase/Support him here: ITUNES 

starry nights, Naima

Thursday, February 5, 2009

What is love?

LOL, my best friend Dani, cracks me up:

"What is love? Love is the zero score in tennis."

Wham, bam, thank you ma'am. We're not bitter, I swear, we were joking! LOL!


From CartoonStock.com

Listening To: Pillow Talk, Kid Cudi

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Feelings, why do I have ..

Run & Hide by Algebra
These feelings
Why do I have?
These feelings?

Patiently waiting
on the right guy
he says I'm precious
but I think he's lyin
just to get my attention
make me fall not to mention
he got crazy intentions
I couldn't trust him
so I didn't want him

surely I may not
know exactly what I want
but surely I know
exactly what I don't

still I haven't found what I've
been looking for but i
cant do this no more
imma just run and hide
go far away to hide
true love I'll never find
gonna pack my heart and hide
imma just run


If this doesn't describe how I feel now, I couldn't tell you what does. 
I can't get close. I seriously can't. Even if a guy is interested, I don't trust him. Even if I'm interested, I don't trust him.

But I still feel. I may not trust him, but I have strong feelings. Feelings, why do I have these feelings?

Life would be much sweeter, if I couldn't feel. If I could be comfortably numb like Pink Floyd. If I couldn't feel the butterflies when he looks at me. If I couldn't feel the pain when he doesn't even acknowledge me. If I couldn't feel the smile that spreads across my face when he smiles at me. If I couldn't feel the hurt of knowing he really doesn't feel the same way I do .. not even a li'l bit. 

So I'll work on that...I'll work on not feeling, keeping my emotions at bay... I'm gonna be the  Grinch, lol. My heart is a bit too large .. It needs to be three sizes too small ..


LOL!
Listening To:
Run & Hide, Algebra
Comfortably Numb, Pink Floyd
Thinking Of You, Katy Perry

gonna pack my heart and hide, starry nights, sunny days, Naima <3

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Lost...

I really need to buckle down this semester. I have two classes that I know I will need to do a lot of studying and working for. One of the classes (Honors Calc II) requires me to have an A for my major. This will really determine if I will stay an Engineering major, or should I choose a different pathway.
I've thought about:
Early Education =/
Spanish =/
Graphic Design
Human Resources?

IDK, a lot of random things. I'm feeling incomplete, lost... Words can't even explain right now, too many things are buzzing around in my head. What do I want to do?! WHAT WILL MY FUTURE BE LIKE? I know I want to be successful. I know what I like, I know what I enjoy, I know what I'm good at, but things I'm good at, or like, will not ensure success. I need definite answers. I can't live unsure, I need to be stable. I'm a naturally unstable, moody, inconsistent chick .. unfortunately .. and I cannot be in an unstable occupation.
I DONT KNOW...
I have a horrible headache, I feel incomplete and, I tore my (cheap!) chiffon top today, so I'm pissed cause its one of my fave tops =/  I'll have to look up some DIYs, and maybe I can save it. :,(


Shopping makes me feel better, so I'll just browse my sites and make a wishlist:

Priced: $38, found HERE


Priced 27.80, found HERE


15590714_11_b.jpg

Priced 9.99, found HERE


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93377.htm.jpg

Alexander McQueen Knit Dress, priced too much =/


Listening to: Nasty, Naughty Boy by Christina Aguilera

In A Sentimental Mood by John Coltrane (He's the reason for my name, I'll probably do a post on him soon, =D ) 


starry nights... sunny days .. love Naima

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Great Compromise


I have two very enlightening classes this semester. With my schedule, it is good to have classes I can just think about. And since my head is in the clouds all the time anyway,  it feels so much better than to daydream about a class subject rather than stress or obsess be scared about, or even want to skip. Just think, ponder, and wonder. And maybe even enjoy going to class (even though that might be a stretch...)

In American Government, our professor asked us about the Golden Rule of Politics. "What is something all politicians must to?" And of course, we all said LIE. (Lol, which wasn't right) He asked who all wanted to be a politician, and no one volunteers. So he compared politics to relationships, hoping we would get the answer because Relationships are must more relatable to most college teens than Politics. He asked how many were in a relationship, and many hands soared. "What is something you must do in a relationship?" And again, we all said LIE. 
After I laughed, I thought and thought, about all of the relationships based on lies make it, and how many fail. How many people are married, with kids, are lying to their friends, families, spouses, or even to themselves? How do lies hurt? Can lies help? Why do we have the need to lie in a relationship?

The word our professor wanted us to say was compromise. Politicians must compromise. We must compromise in relationships. We must give to get. We must share to gain. 

The other class, we are talking about Intuition. It is a fascinating subject that I will continue and continue to blog about (I'm sure) because it connects to almost everything we do. Is it intuition that tells us we should lie, though logically we know we should compromise with our significant others? 

More later, of course... 


Currently: 
Pennies, Cool Kids
Roc, Beyonce
Millionaire, Kelis&Andre3000
Sunny days, Starry nights <3 Naima

Saturday, January 24, 2009

The Sol-Angel



Now if you know anything worth knowing about me, you know I love Solange Knowles! I believe Sol-Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams was one of the best albums of 08. She's the bomb, bomb, bomb. Her music, sweet. Attitude, rude! Lyrics, NICE. Fashion sense, OUTTA THIS WORLD.
So of course, Solo = Awesome. 

God Given Name: "Let my starlight shine on its own, no, I'm no sister, I'm just my god-given name..."

This Bird: "I'm not in denial, I'm not suicidal, Not an alcoholic, I'm not out here ho-ing, so just shut the f*&% up, this birds NOT SLOWING DOWN. 

F*^& the Industry: "I got to much I don't give a WHAT in my cup"


And check out those Chanel shoes. 

pictures, courtesy of batchplease.com & observer.com

scared n 'fraid

Me by Erykah Badu
Cosmic Journey by Solange
This Bird by Solange

Scared n 'Fraid In Love...

I'm scared of him being too good for little ole me.
I'm scared of him not being good enough for lil ole me.
I'm scared of touching, because I never know how I far I want to go.
I'm scared my eyes will wander.
I'm afraid he'd cheat.
I'm scared I move to slow.
I'm scared he won't move fast enough. 
I'm afraid cause I'm too picky.
I'm scared cause I really don't know what I want.
I'm scared because I want so much, but know so little.
I'm scared because I'm willing to learn, but I'm afraid no one wants to teach.
I'm afraid I'll fall blindly.
I'm scared that love is just an overrated four letter word.
I'm scared it'll be unrequited.
I'm afaid it'll be too good, and I'm scared I'll loose all my morals.
I'm scared I'll smile to hard when I think of him.
I'm scared I won't open up as much as he would want.
I'm scared I'd mess up.
I'm afraid he'd mess up.
I'm scared of crying to hard.
I'm afraid of falling to hard.
I'm scared...and afraid... that I'll never, ever, ever really fall in love... ever.




Also, I rarely remember my dreams, but last night, I had a dream I had a huge fight with a close friend. I can't remember exactly what she said, but she made a comment saying how much better she was than me, which pissed me off to no end and I absolutely went OFF on her. And let me tell you how good that felt... I can barely remember the fight now, but I knew it was passionately, I can still feel the passion, I was crying and felt soooo relieved. I woke happy and relieved, and I had no idea why, and I then remembered the dream...

We shouldn't waste our time with people that don't make us happy. We should get rid of all dead-weight, we never need anything to hold us down.

.. but its so much easier to let go of someone in a dream than in real life...


sunny days, starry nights, love Naima <3

Friday, January 23, 2009

Through the looking glass ..

Do you ever wish you could see what other people see?

Not all the time of course... but sometimes, I wish I could see through other people's eyes. What do they see when they look at me? What do they really see? What really lies behind the smiles they give, the kind conversation they exchange?

Do their eyes just see me as they take in the scenery? Do I blend in, or stick out? Do I get lost in the crowd? Or do their eyes follow me no matter where I seem to go?

Where do their eyes go to first? Do they see the nappy-kinky-curliness that sits atop my head?  Do they envy how big, thick, and crazy it is? Do they wonder how they would look if they embraces the gorgeous curls God adorned them with, like jewels? Do they admire my confidence to actually wear my hair in this manner? Or do they just wonder why it isn't obeying the law of society?

Where do their eyes linger? Do they stare at my eyes, wondering why my eyes don't stay still? Do they wonder why I stare at the clouds, the birds, the emerald colored grass, or my fingernails? Do they wonder where I bought my shoes from, or do they wonder why I walked out the house with this shirt?

What do their eyes see?  Do they see a distant, confused, yet polite smile when I catch them staring? Do they see an immature teen when they see me laughing with friends? Do they see a sad, loner when I walk, with the comfort of an MP3 player? Do they see. . . do they see anything at all?

Or am I invisible? An invisible, nappy headed, weird smile giving, odd clothed wearing, wandering eye having immature loner?


.. I wish I could see what they saw.



Currently listening to:

G-Thang by Ginuwine
Healing by Jagged Edge
Oh Yeah by  Foxy Brown
Warrior Love by Etana


starry nights, sunny days, Naima <3

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A BLOG? Really?

I never really thought about doin' a blog seriously before. 

Truthfully, I never thought about typing about my feelings, thoughts, ideas, wishes .. 

I am scatter-brained, which makes it hard for me to finish, or at least continue the things I start. Be it novels I'm reading, stories I'm writing, pictures I draw...

But hopefully, maybe, I can stick to this.


So, to introduce: I'm a college student. I'm very imaginative. I'm observant. I love to laugh. I love comedy and romance films. I have a new found love for fashion and hair.  
I think and overanalyze. My head stays in the clouds. I like simple, simple things, like sunsets, warm days, lemonade, and smiles. I write music...


I have more to write, but that can wait until a later time...


sunny days, starry nights, Naima <3