Lost...

I really need to buckle down this semester. I have two classes that I know I will need to do a lot of studying and working for. One of the classes (Honors Calc II) requires me to have an A for my major. This will really determine if I will stay an Engineering major, or should I choose a different pathway.
I've thought about:
Early Education =/
Spanish =/
Graphic Design
Human Resources?

IDK, a lot of random things. I'm feeling incomplete, lost... Words can't even explain right now, too many things are buzzing around in my head. What do I want to do?! WHAT WILL MY FUTURE BE LIKE? I know I want to be successful. I know what I like, I know what I enjoy, I know what I'm good at, but things I'm good at, or like, will not ensure success. I need definite answers. I can't live unsure, I need to be stable. I'm a naturally unstable, moody, inconsistent chick .. unfortunately .. and I cannot be in an unstable occupation.
I DONT KNOW...
I have a horrible headache, I feel incomplete and, I tore my (cheap!) chiffon top today, so I'm pissed cause its one of my fave tops =/  I'll have to look up some DIYs, and maybe I can save it. :,(

Shopping makes me feel better, so I'll just browse my sites and make a wishlist:

Priced: $38, found HERE

Priced 27.80, found HERE

Priced 9.99, found HERE

Alexander McQueen Knit Dress, priced too much =/

Listening to: Nasty, Naughty Boy by Christina Aguilera

In A Sentimental Mood by John Coltrane (He's the reason for my name, I'll probably do a post on him soon, =D ) 

starry nights... sunny days .. love Naima

The Great Compromise

I have two very enlightening classes this semester. With my schedule, it is good to have classes I can just think about. And since my head is in the clouds all the time anyway,  it feels so much better than to daydream about a class subject rather than stress or obsess be scared about, or even want to skip. Just think, ponder, and wonder. And maybe even enjoy going to class (even though that might be a stretch...)

In American Government, our professor asked us about the Golden Rule of Politics. "What is something all politicians must to?" And of course, we all said LIE. (Lol, which wasn't right) He asked who all wanted to be a politician, and no one volunteers. So he compared politics to relationships, hoping we would get the answer because Relationships are must more relatable to most college teens than Politics. He asked how many were in a relationship, and many hands soared. "What is something you must do in a relationship?" And again, we all said LIE. 

After I laughed, I thought and thought, about all of the relationships based on lies make it, and how many fail. How many people are married, with kids, are lying to their friends, families, spouses, or even to themselves? How do lies hurt? Can lies help? Why do we have the need to lie in a relationship?

The word our professor wanted us to say was compromise. Politicians must compromise. We must compromise in relationships. We must give to get. We must share to gain. 

The other class, we are talking about Intuition. It is a fascinating subject that I will continue and continue to blog about (I'm sure) because it connects to almost everything we do. Is it intuition that tells us we should lie, though logically we know we should compromise with our significant others? 

More later, of course... 

Currently: 

Pennies, Cool Kids

Roc, Beyonce

Millionaire, Kelis&Andre3000

Sunny days, Starry nights <3 Naima

The Sol-Angel

Now if you know anything worth knowing about me, you know I love Solange Knowles! I believe Sol-Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams was one of the best albums of 08. She's the bomb, bomb, bomb. Her music, sweet. Attitude, rude! Lyrics, NICE. Fashion sense, OUTTA THIS WORLD.

So of course, Solo = Awesome. 

God Given Name: "Let my starlight shine on its own, no, I'm no sister, I'm just my god-given name..."

This Bird: "I'm not in denial, I'm not suicidal, Not an alcoholic, I'm not out here ho-ing, so just shut the f*&% up, this birds NOT SLOWING DOWN. 

F*^& the Industry: "I got to much I don't give a WHAT in my cup"

And check out those Chanel shoes. 

pictures, courtesy of batchplease.com & observer.com

scared n 'fraid

Me by Erykah Badu

Cosmic Journey by Solange

This Bird by Solange

Scared n 'Fraid In Love...

I'm scared of him being too good for little ole me.

I'm scared of him not being good enough for lil ole me.

I'm scared of touching, because I never know how I far I want to go.

I'm scared my eyes will wander.

I'm afraid he'd cheat.

I'm scared I move to slow.

I'm scared he won't move fast enough. 

I'm afraid cause I'm too picky.

I'm scared cause I really don't know what I want.

I'm scared because I want so much, but know so little.

I'm scared because I'm willing to learn, but I'm afraid no one wants to teach.

I'm afraid I'll fall blindly.

I'm scared that love is just an overrated four letter word.

I'm scared it'll be unrequited.

I'm afaid it'll be too good, and I'm scared I'll loose all my morals.

I'm scared I'll smile to hard when I think of him.

I'm scared I won't open up as much as he would want.

I'm scared I'd mess up.

I'm afraid he'd mess up.

I'm scared of crying to hard.

I'm afraid of falling to hard.

I'm scared...and afraid... that I'll never, ever, ever really fall in love... ever.

Also, I rarely remember my dreams, but last night, I had a dream I had a huge fight with a close friend. I can't remember exactly what she said, but she made a comment saying how much better she was than me, which pissed me off to no end and I absolutely went OFF on her. And let me tell you how good that felt... I can barely remember the fight now, but I knew it was passionately, I can still feel the passion, I was crying and felt soooo relieved. I woke happy and relieved, and I had no idea why, and I then remembered the dream...

We shouldn't waste our time with people that don't make us happy. We should get rid of all dead-weight, we never need anything to hold us down.

.. but its so much easier to let go of someone in a dream than in real life...

sunny days, starry nights, love Naima <3

Through the looking glass ..

Do you ever wish you could see what other people see?

Not all the time of course... but sometimes, I wish I could see through other people's eyes. What do they see when they look at me? What do they really see? What really lies behind the smiles they give, the kind conversation they exchange?

Do their eyes just see me as they take in the scenery? Do I blend in, or stick out? Do I get lost in the crowd? Or do their eyes follow me no matter where I seem to go?

Where do their eyes go to first? Do they see the nappy-kinky-curliness that sits atop my head?  Do they envy how big, thick, and crazy it is? Do they wonder how they would look if they embraces the gorgeous curls God adorned them with, like jewels? Do they admire my confidence to actually wear my hair in this manner? Or do they just wonder why it isn't obeying the law of society?

Where do their eyes linger? Do they stare at my eyes, wondering why my eyes don't stay still? Do they wonder why I stare at the clouds, the birds, the emerald colored grass, or my fingernails? Do they wonder where I bought my shoes from, or do they wonder why I walked out the house with this shirt?

What do their eyes see?  Do they see a distant, confused, yet polite smile when I catch them staring? Do they see an immature teen when they see me laughing with friends? Do they see a sad, loner when I walk, with the comfort of an MP3 player? Do they see. . . do they see anything at all?

Or am I invisible? An invisible, nappy headed, weird smile giving, odd clothed wearing, wandering eye having immature loner?

.. I wish I could see what they saw.

Currently listening to:

G-Thang by Ginuwine

Healing by Jagged Edge

Oh Yeah by  Foxy Brown

Warrior Love by Etana

starry nights, sunny days, Naima <3

A BLOG? Really?

I never really thought about doin' a blog seriously before. 

Truthfully, I never thought about typing about my feelings, thoughts, ideas, wishes .. 

I am scatter-brained, which makes it hard for me to finish, or at least continue the things I start. Be it novels I'm reading, stories I'm writing, pictures I draw...

But hopefully, maybe, I can stick to this.

So, to introduce: I'm a college student. I'm very imaginative. I'm observant. I love to laugh. I love comedy and romance films. I have a new found love for fashion and hair.  

I think and overanalyze. My head stays in the clouds. I like simple, simple things, like sunsets, warm days, lemonade, and smiles. I write music...

I have more to write, but that can wait until a later time...

sunny days, starry nights, Naima <3