I love Black people, I really do. I embrace this race because it's my family. We go through bull TOGETHER, and we are working on overcoming TOGETHER. But this crazy kin can piss me off, because many of our Black people suffer self-hate. And though, its not all, its a vast majority that is spreading across our community and even infecting our Black children, like the Swine Flu.
Maybe because I've struggled with self-hate for many years, it hurts me more than the average. My self-hate was stemmed from many things: I'm always the darkest in any crowd, no matter where, and until recently, I thought dark skin was the ugliest thing on Earth. Can you believe it? I hated my skin and I honestly thought God was punishing me by making me such a deep brown color. My self-hate stemmed from not understanding how to take care of my curly halo of kinks, so I hated my hair, and thought God was punishing me by not giving me "good hair." 'If I was lighter.... and if I had good hair, I'd love myself then' I told myself, but I'd only love myself because I wouldn't be myself.
I really hated myself.
And as a people, I think we really hate ourselves. Striving to look like video hoochies-- I'm sorry "MODELS", packing on pounds of makeup, colored contacts and weaves to look like something we're not.
Truthfully, I don't think there are anything wrong with extensions, admitedly, they can be fun, cute, and easy, but when we're inching closer and closer to a more Eurocentric beauty, and hating our OWN beauty, I feel we have a problem. We have a problem when we put unnatural blond tracks in our hair, and claiming on youtube: "Don't insult me, I'm not Black"; this screams that we collectively have some work to do on what we perceived as beautiful. Now, I'm not telling everyone to stop getting relaxers, no, but I do want to ask my fellow beautiful black women to not think of your "new growth" as an accident that needs to be fixed. Its beautiful, and though you might not transistion to natural, love the BEAUTIFUL curly, full, wavy, textured "new growth" that grows from you naturally.
And though, I'm not throwing salt on any lighter women, because my family color wheel features beauties the color of Kim Kardashian, to Beyonce's caramel, Gabrielle Union's golden brown, India's mahogany, to Alek's dark and amazing skin. But I want my men to LOVE all of your black women, no matter what her color is.
But it may be to much to ask, because when I hear someone say, "Your hair looks good on you, but I could never rock it," I silently plead 'why'? Why can't you wear your naturally beautiful hair, God gave it specifically to you so you could rock it, and look stunning. But I go unheard.
And when I hear "I like a long haired thick red bone" in a song, I silently plead 'why'? Why can't you like a sexy browned skinned diva, and her light skinned friend too? But that doesn't match the context of the song... or maybe the context of the world we live in.
I'll write a Part 2 soon...
